Ha Ha Ha Youre Funny Go to Gulag

hahah brick!

There is a father and he has three daughters

The oldest daughter comes up to him and asks, "Dad, why is my name Lily?"

The father responds, "because when you were born, a Lily fell on your head."

Then the second oldest daughter comes up and asks, "dad, why is my name Daisy?"

The father responds, "because when you were born, a daisy fell on your head."

Then the youngest daughter comes up and says, "Muuughmmmummphhhhhh"

"Shut up, Brick!"

"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"

- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.

maternity ward

A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."

Haha joke, maternity ward

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking!

My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves!

Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

What goes HAHAHAHATHUMP?

A man laughing his head off!

Sorry haha

What do you call an airplane that flies backwards?

a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha

Haha joke, What do you call an airplane that flies backwards?

Do you know why God created atheists?

Haha. Good one.

I love eating German sausage....

but it always gives me the wurst farts.
HA HA HAHA Ha....ha....^ha ^ha^ha......^i'llshowmyselfout

My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her

"Hey what's up?" she said

"Oh nothing.. It's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me." I replied

"Haha don't worry, I won't." She said reassuringly

"I wanna lick it." I said

She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said:

"I knew you'd misunderstand."

What do you call a girl who doesn't give blow jobs?

You don't call her. ^haha

You can explore haha hahahaha reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean haha yep dad jokes. There are also haha puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community.

Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What do you get when you watch a lumberjack chop down a tree?

Help! I have food stuck in my throat!

Haha, just choking!

What room is a ghost scared of?

The living room( haha get it?)

What do you call a Korean with a dog?

...vegetarian.

For the record, I'm Korean and have a dog haha.

Haha joke, What do you call a Korean with a dog?

Why is gigabit internet good for you?

Because it's high in fiber!

haha, I'll show myself out...

I was talking to a radical feminist the other day.

Haha no, could you imagine?

A Grek and an Italian go into a restaurant

Who pays?
The German.
Haha

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.

Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?

Son: At school.

The robot slaps the son

Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!

The robot slaps his son again.

Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!

Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!

The robot slaps the dad.

Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.

The robot slaps the mom...

How do cows do math?

A cow-culator.

haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.

What's the difference between a capitalist society and a communist society?

In a capitalist society, the rich man lives in a marble palace, the poor gathered around him. He shouts to them "Haha, suckers!"

In a communist society it's the exact same thing, except the rich man is shouting "We're suffering together!"

"Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?"

"Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"

"Not this time. Our dog died."

"How old is your girlfriend?" "She's52"

"Haha, dude, she could be your mom!"

"Yeah, actually it's yours"

if you added the letters S and E to the X files

it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol

Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table?

To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday 🙂

I was walking down the road when I saw 4 guys beating one other guy, so by natural instinct I decided to help

Haha, he couldn't stand a chance against all 5 of us.

A mother comes back home...

...and her son rushes to the door and tells her: "Mom, hurry up, dad has hanged himself in the bedroom!". The mother sprints to the bedroom but the room is all clear and there is no one there. The boy laughs and says "Haha April Fools! He hanged himself in the kitchen"

So I met my girlfriend the other day

april fools! i don't have a girlfriend hahaha haha ha....ha.......

I once made a man cry just by singing

He thought my rendition of "your wife is dead haha" was beautiful

The word queue does't have 4 silent letters...

They are just waiting their turn.

EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?

Laughing scale

Ha – Mildly amusing

Haha – Funny

Hahaha – Sarcastic laugh

Hahahaha – Stayin alive

I asked my Dad if we can go to seaworld...

He said that only if we go to A-World or B-World first.

This actually happened haha

Have you heard of the rapper showing off cryptocurrency?

He calls himself blockchainz.

PS. Please be forviging. Haha!

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven.

Haha just kidding.

A dad joke

"Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

Wow, I haven't showered since last year!

Haha good one, but it's only New Year's Eve

I know...

Where do bees catch their bus?

At the buzz stop. Haha

ME: Siri, what time is it?

ALEXA: Who is Siri?

ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa

ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?

ME:...

ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

Waiter: What else can I get for the lovely couple?

Girl: Oh gosh, haha no, we're just friends.

Guy: You can get us two checks.

Girl: Excuse me?

Guy: Also please don't forget she had 2 soda refills, I know you guys charge extra.

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, without know its a lesbian bar, and says to the bartender:

"I have the world's best blonde joke. You wanna hear it?"

The bartender says "Hey, just so you know, I'm the world champion in wrestling. The girl next to you is the world champion in taekwondo and that girl over there is the world champion in kickboxing, and we're all blonde. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"

The guy replies "Haha, no thanks. I don't really feel like explaining the joke three times over."

Ha - mildly amusing

Haha - laughing

Hahaha - saracstic laughing

Hahahaha - Staying Alive

A very plane joke

Pilot: We are going to die.

Passengers: *starts freaking out*

Pilot: haha don't worry we will all die one day.

Passengers: *sighs in relief*

Pilot: But we'll all probably die when we hit that mountain.

Mommy mommy! Daddy hanged himself in the living room!

*mom rushes to the living room*

Kid: Haha! April fools! He did it in the attic!

Penguin is having some car trouble so he drops it off at the auto repair shop

Mechanic tells him it might take a while, so the penguin goes down the street to the ice cream shop to pass the time.

When he returns to the repair shop, the mechanic comes out and says, "It looks like you just blew a seal."

The penguin gets an initial horrified look on his face and then laughs, replying "oh, no, haha, that's just ice cream on my chin."

I went to college in Hawaii and

While I was jogging on the beach one day, I saw a man in the distance drowning !
He was waving his arms screaming:
Helllppppp.... *Shark* ... please... hellllpppppp

And then I started laughing, haha, cause I knew that that shark wasn't going to help him

It's impossible for the knuckle of your ring finger and the knuckle of your index finger to touch while giving the bird

Haha. I just made you flick yourself off.

"Honey, do you feel fat?"

"Yes, I do!"

"It's okay."

\*Rubs her tummy\*

"I feel it too! haha."

Rape isn't funny...

Unless you're raping a clown! Haha!

...The real joke is in 10 years imma get fired for this post

My wife left me because I'm too paranoid.

Haha

If you add S to EX files...

You get EX-S files. Get it? Excess files haha

Doctor, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is this tumor?

Doctor: "I'd say it's be-nine."

Patient: "Hahaha"

Doctor: "Hahahaha"

Patient: "Haha"

Doctor: "You have a month to live."

A lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie...

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.

Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom...

Two siblings, a boy and a girl opens their Christmas presents

The boy received a football hat while the girl received a wonderful gold necklace.

The next year, the boy received a puzzle and the girl received an new wardrobe full of clothes.

And the next year again, the boy finds out he got a cheap chinese phone while his sister received an iPhone X.

So this year, after the opening, the girl says: "Haha! mom and dad loves me more!"

The boy replies: "Haha! I don't have a tumor"

A doctor comes out to the maternity ward waiting room holding a newborn baby and suddenly drops him to the floor.

Seeing the father's shocked face, he laughs and says: "Haha, got you. Don't worry, he was born dead".

Where does a comedian study?

Ha ha ha ha haha ha-Harvard

April Fools!

girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father

A man named Rick went shirt shopping with his wife and asked her:

\- What size should I pick?

\- Pick L, Rick.

Haha that's the funniest s\*\*t I've ever seen.

Why are animals so primitive?

They don't want to ever reach a petabyte.

^((Haha PETA bad))

My 4 year old daughter told me the joke today. Knock knock, who's there? Dinosaurp, Dinosaurp who?

Haha you said dinosaur poo.

What goes hahaha -'bonk'?

A man laughing his head off

They all laughed when I said I was going into comedy

Haha, they're not laughing now!

We went out on a date

Me: I slay werewolves for a living.

Date: Haha, always joking around. Anyway, I read that tweet you sent to me, it was so funny, I howled!

Me: *Unsheathing silver cutlass* You What??

There are lots of famous Mayas, like Maya Rudolph, etc.

My favorites are Maya Hee, Maya Hoo, and Maya Haha

Grandpa: what has 4 legs but isn't alive?

Little Timmy: haha it's a chair nice try gra-

Grandpa:it's your dog Timmy he's dead

Picked up a hitchhiker last night.

He asked me "How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"

I responded "Haha! What are the chances there'd be 2 serial killers in 1 car at the same time?"

Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me

It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain

So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)

Keek = looked but it is pronounced as cake

A joke as told to me verbatim by my 4yo son: What's a Skeleton's favorite instrument to play?

A TromBONE!
Haha, Get it, Daddy? Because skeletons are made out of *BONES!* HA HA HA!

Me: DOOT DOOT!!

You should never trust your balls.

Because they're nuts. haha see what i did there?

Teacher: You should wash your face in the morning

"I can tell what you had for breakfast. You ate scrambled eggs"

Student; "Haha, you're wrong, sir. I ate eggs yesterday".

It's my cake day.. why couldn't the Teddy Bear finish his cake?

He was already stuffed!!
Haha
Sorry it's so cheese.

What do turtles say to themselves to calm down?

My 7 yr old: dad, I made up a joke and it's really funny.
Me: ok hit me.
Her: what do turtles say to themselves to calm down?
Me: mmm I dunno, what?
Her: in through your nose, out through your butt.
Me: …
Her: …
Me: …
Her: turtles breathe through their butts, dad.
Me: oh! Haha nice one. Wow. You're smart.

A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Why the long f--" when suddenly the horse cuts him off.

"I've heard that a million times. 'Why the long face, haha!" I hear that everywhere I go."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," says the bartender. "Other than that, how's your

life?"

The horse responds with, "Stable."

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

A hauntourage ~

happy spooky season haha

what did the man with no hands get for christmas?

gloves.

haha just kidding he hasnt even opened his present yet

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Source: https://jokojokes.com/haha-jokes.html

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